Before kite kapel, i just broke up with my ex. Who's fault is that? Well, obviously my fault. I didnt mean to... Well. After that, i get to know u. At first u kinda annoys me. HAHA. Seriously. But u did took my heart away. I let u in, without knowing that im hurting the other guy. Not just a guy. Four of them specifically.
Not to brag but. Thats the fact. At that moment, i do cry because i did not know who to be with. If i stick with A, im afraid i cant be a good gf for him. If i choose B, im afraid i will be the one who always be hurt. If i with C, he just too boring for me, no adventure. :) If i choose D, i just befriend with him, for few month okay.
But i choose u out of them. Cause i just follow my heart, what my heart says. I trust my instinct. And yes. U're the best out them.
Why?
Sebab u and i, we both have chemistry. We both LOVE the same thing. Well im not that into outdoor stuff much and when i know u're into it like VERY2 much, u make u realize my true passion.
And u know what?
Because of u, i'll try to change myself. Try to adapt with u. Sometimes i dont like what im seeing or what type of person that i've become. This is so not me but im glad. Im doing this for ya.
Recently, u told me that u're not the one for me. Why? After 7 months, baru ckp? How could u do this to me. U said u loved me but there are so many prob. Its okay. I dont mind facing all this shit. As long as im with u.
But u ckp u bkn type of guy nak berkapel2 ni, nak bersayang2. Then 7 months tu ape? All this just a waste of time ke?
U ckp nope. But u cant stand it, hurting me so bad. U feel guilty dragging me into this. But im not. I dont mind gettin hurt by u. Shit damn it i love u, u pon syg i. Knp nk jgak ckp cmni? I can let it pass.
Let bygone be bygone. Will ya? Nope, u still cant forgive urself. Im speechless and cried a lot. I cant focus on my studies. All that i can think about is u.
We could make it work. Just like when we 1st being in love. Kan? Can we just go to those days? When u 1st take me out on a date? Remember?
I know u do remember. But u also said that theres another prob. Personal.
Last night u told me everything. Only god knows how hard i cry. Smpi dah xlarat nk kuarkan air mate lg. Teruk kan? I dont mind. I just nk u and me get back together. Macam dulu. Knp dulu blh, skrg x?
Ya allah ya tuhanku lembutkan lah hati die. Let him know how much i love him. I dont want this to be over. I cant afford to lose him. Ya allah , permudahkan lah perjalanan hubungan kami. Kau perikanlah petunjuk. Agar hubungan ini dpt diteruskan dgn izinmu. Amin.
I love him. But u needed space and i needed air.
